fishfinger macaroni cheese.

Yesterday I went to the cinema with my mum because I don't have any other friends. Because I didn't fancy a gallon of popcorn for about twenty pounds, we opted to pop into Sainsbury's first to get some sandwiches to sneak in (which made mother rather nervous.) We were greeted by a poor selection. 
"A duck wrap? Or a prawn sandwich?" I asked.
"OH! We could share! Half a duck wrap and half a prawn sandwich!" my mother replied excitedly.
Begrudgingly I agreed. In my mind, prawn sandwiches and duck wraps do not really go together (perhaps you disagree.) However, my mum loves to 'mix and match' foods. She has concocted many a meal out of the most random selection of ingredients under the name of "Pot Luck Dinners." A few personal favourites (that I have actually eaten) include salmon fishcake and pork pie (if you wish to recreate this dish, buy a pack of two M&S salmon fishcakes and a pack of two Melton Mowbray pork pies (no other brand will do) and simply put them on a plate next to each other. Voila. Dinner is served.) Another favourite, which inspired the title of this post, was macaroni cheese with fish fingers on toast. One evening when searching the fridge for dinner, we were greeted with one macaroni cheese ready meal and very little else. Mum suggested the good old standbys of ham, jam, and fish fingers, so we decided that one person could have a fish finger sandwich and the other would have macaroni cheese. Dad would have to "make do" i.e have some cereal. As she was putting the meal together, an idea struck. "We could share both!" my mother cried with delight. Erm...ok...A normal person eating this (well, as normal as you can be if you've actually chosen to eat this combination of foods for your dinner) would probably eat them separately  Perhaps a small fish finger sandwich to start and a macaroni cheese main. But not my mother. She served up both dishes together with a beaming smile. As one. Macaroni cheese on a slice of toast with three fish fingers sticking out of it. Yum.
Don't think that these are just one offs, when we didn't have any food in or if we couldn't be bothered to cook. Pot luck dinners were a staple throughout the week. Even if there was enough food for us each to have a ready meal, mum loved to mix and match and share different dinners.

I was struggling to think how I could link this to literature. I thought about the kinds of concoctions that mum had created and it just made me think of the kind of things a young child might present to their parents had they attempted to cook dinner. A quick flick through a few Jacqueline Wilson novels confirmed this idea. 
"Secrets" tells the story of two girls, one rich, one poor, who both write diaries and become best friends. Treasure runs away from the council flat she shares with her mum and nan to secretly live in the loft of India's luxurious house. India scavages food from her kitchen offering Treasure a "bag of goodies" (184) containing "Kettle Chips...Olives [and] Chocolate raisins" (184). 
Similar meals can be found in Wilson's novel "The Illustrated Mum." The novel is about two girls, Star and Dolphin, and their mother, Marigold, who has mental health issues. Due to her illness, Dolphin and Star are often left to fend for themselves. One morning when her mum is still in bed, hungover, Dolphin "grabbed a handful of stale party snacks" (149) for her breakfast. Star relies on older boys buying her McDonalds while Dolphin stays at home with Marigold eating "raw cake and unrisen cake and burnt cake until [she] felt sick." (41).
Although it doesn't talk about strange food concoctions, Wilson's "Dustbin Baby" describes eating beans for dinner:

"Mummy couldn't manage meals now. She didn't seem to eat at all, she just drank endless cups of tea, taking it black after we ran out of milk. I ate my breakfast cornflakes straight out of the packet. I ate a lot of school lunch because we were just using up all the tins of baked beans in the cupboard for tea. I had baked beans on toast, and then when we'd used all the bread in the freezer I simply had baked beans. When Mummy just sat and stared into space I ate the baked beans cold." (62)

Many of Wilson's novels explore difficult problems that children can face such as alcoholic or abusive parents or parents and carers with mental health issues. These problems often cause the children in the novels to be badly cared for, often left to fend for themselves. The food Wilson describes is often junk food or the kind of combinations that children would eat when left to their own devices. To a child reader, these dinners would seem brilliant, a combination of all their favourite things, but to the adult reader it is clear that the children are neglected or improperly cared for. 
As I've said before, my mother was not incapable of cooking, nor was I badly cared for, she just hated cooking. A lot. 

I Googled "pot luck dinners" in an effort to see if anybody else ever created these kind of extraordinary meals. They didn't. But it turns out that pot luck dinners are actually a real thing and people host pot luck dinner parties. Further research on potluck dinners told me that they are a dinner party where everyone brings a dish, unplanned, and you eat the concoction that you have. Not quite as strange as mum's concoctions though, generally the guests are assigned starters, mains, sides etc. 
Clearly pot luck dinners are a bigger thing than I was aware of. Oprah Winfrey dedicates an article on her website to help you create "No-Fail Potluck Dishes Everyone Will Want the Recipes For" http://www.oprah.com/food/Potluck-Recipe-Ideas-What-to-Bring-to-a-Potluck-Dinner 
There are also several books which are completely dedicated to potluck dinners such as "Crowd Pleasing Potluck" by Francine Halvorsen or even the children's book "Alligator Arrived with Apples: A Potluck Alphabet Feast" by Crescent Dragonwagon (yes, that's her real name. There's a story behind it similar to Phoebe's name change in Friends). 

Although Dragonwagon's book makes potluck dinners seem appealing, I'm still not entirely convinced.

After I finish a blog post, I always read it to my mum. Partly so I can show her just how ridiculous she is, partly because she doesn't trust me not to embarrass her on here. After reading her this one, she said "Oh I really enjoyed that macaroni cheese and fish finger one. They really went well together." No mum, no they didn't.
She also INSISTS that other people eat dinners like that. I disagree and think it's only my crazy mother that comes up with those things. If you have meals like fishcake and pork pie, please add a comment telling me so my mum can feel a little better about her eating habits.